Current and Recurring Problems...

Updated: Aug 15, 2021

Current problems…it be the doubting me for me. You know how the story of the over-thinker goes. There are so many scenarios for how this can be played out and I don’t like surprises. BUT for some reason when shit goes down I forget that I am literally magic when I apply myself. I am good at whatever I try. I prefer being ready for anything that comes my way, so when something goes another way that I didn’t approve, these thoughts brew into FEAR. Fear leading my decision making has been a recurring problem in my life. Fight or flight, I activate it based on

lies that I sometimes tell myself.

Sounds crazy when I said it out loud so I started changing my perspective on situations that I cannot control. This small mirror I was gifted at a time in my life that I really needed it says, “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.”. I’m so fucking good at changing how I think about things, it’s actually been a great specialty of mine! My favorite thing about me is that I choose to educate myself in the midst of this transformation. Nothing worse than an evolved person based off nothing but Facebook memes and Youtube videos. I apply a full scientific method when asking myself these questions. How, what, when, why, where…etc.

Applying this investigative formula to my life has been the key to unwrapping all of my bullshit and helping me face problems as opportunities before I immediately develop this huge lump of FEAR and run away from it. The more I approach my problems as opportunities the more I discover how brilliant I can perform under pressure, how innovative my ideas are in overcoming these problems, the more knowledge I gain in lighting different paths, the confidence. I radiate the “nigga we made it!” vibe, and it definitely builds on my passion to inspire others to join me in overcoming the conditions that we are subjected to.

As a kid I was diagnosed with ADHD and it doesn’t disappear in adulthood, and it easily forms into anxiety and depression. Especially when you know you haven’t lived life to your full potential. I carried the shame of my decision making on my shoulders and accepted all the bad shit that came as karma, but when I really laid it out, I found out some BIG shit.

I carried the trauma from my family for generations, my ancestors (because Amerikkka don’t care about my ass), from the people who exposed me to sexual acts from ages 4-9, from the neglect that I experienced from my father and his side of the family, from the disappointment I harbored because my Mom didn’t protect me, and in me because of all the times I didn’t advocate for me. My perspective was based on reactions to actions done to me before adulthood and environments I was exposed to at no fault of my own. I HAD to be gentle with me because baby girl really didn’t know better and I damn sure wasn’t aware that I was still packing all them BAGS. *cue Erykah* I thought Daddy issues could just be removed, you know like how racism is removed from the white person with the black friend/family member? Naw, sis. Don’t work like that.

Trauma has a way of bringing recurring problems into your life but navigating the root of where your reactions/emotions stem from is THEE step to cutting off that bullshit at the source. Problems are always a “come up” toward the next opportunity it’s literally up to you to see that shit through.

-Soulfulunicorn aka Queisha Colbert

Shout-out to my mentors that have loved me through this:

Trina my best friend who believes in me sometimes for the b

oth of us, my Mommy (Cynthia Marquez, IG @Cre8tivethinkin) also transitional life coach who helps me navigate life/relationship with you human beings better, my Auntie (Amira Stanley, IG @Mindfulness_connection) also activist/mindfulness/meditation coach who keeps me checking in on my mind/body/soul, Ms. Dee (Twitter @baddiewiththebooks/ IG @iamdbienaime) my sis who taught me that language is everything…she is a master with her words, check her out…, and my very own personal fairy God Mother Deneen Joyner and spiritual teacher!

We DO NOT get better alone. Seek God first and you’ll be able to trust your intuition when it comes to filling in your “Focker circle”. RNS. Peace and love…and light!!

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